What the Hell!?

My house is a constant ebb and flow of manic insanity that only slows when my little lollygagger goes to bed; which in itself is an all night process. On one such night, the lollygagger ran up the stairs with mamma in hot pursuit.

Before going any further with the main theme of my story, you must have a brief introduction to our pets. Maura, the Akita, is a runt at her heaviest weight of 80 lbs. She sheds all year and loves to lean on me when I’m dressed for work. Murray, the fattest cat in California, enjoys torturing Maura by hanging on her curly tail and not letting go until poor Maura drags him for 10 minutes and he just gets tired of hanging on. Then there’s The Little Princess (that’s what happens when you let a four year old name the new kitten), who has a perma-whistle nose (will give full story in a later post) and sounds like Darth Vader.

With two cats that live indoors on a full time basis, you never know what to expect while on the long journey to the top of the stairs. Will we hit a wall of fresh cat box odor? Will the dog be grazing from the cat box? Will the cats race us to the top and trip one of us on their way? Will they perhaps reach over the railing and grab our hair as we make our assent? Not this night. No, this is the night my lollygagger stepped on a freshly vomited fur ball four steps from the top. Her immediate reaction was to shout “WHAT THE HELL!?” from the top of her voice.

During my lecture to my sweet little lollygagger on the difference between adult words, and words more appropriate for children, the lollygagger’s daddy was down stairs, lecturing up to me about using adult words and ensuring me it’s a phrase I use too often. He was so into his lecture, he never asked what happened to make her say such a thing.

During my momentary self evaluation of commonly use phrases, the lollygagger’s daddy was making his own way up the stairs. He stepped on the same cat vomited fur ball that I hadn’t cleaned up yet, which was wet enough to squish between his toes, and he let loose with “WHAT THE HELL!?”

Vindication has never been so sweet.