The Swimming Lesson gone bad

It was awful.

Though I have nothing to compare her to, the swimming instructor is clearly capable of training small children how to swim. She's kind and gentle, and patient; patient, patient, patient.

But she's also a no nonsense-body building-life guarding-drill sergeant. There's no goofing off, no splashing until told to do so, and there will not be, under any circumstances, tears or the word "no." She wouldn't take crap from God himself. She scares me. She could make espresso nervous.
Just the same, she's damn good at what she does.

My breaking point: She instructs the children to Choo-Choo over, in train formation, to the opposing edge of the pool. One-by-one, she lifts them out of the pool and has them jump in, rollover onto their backs and float.

This went well for the first two children; then she had to deal with the Lollygagger and one other who was not willing to follow the leader. First in, went the other little darling, who was in fear for her life at the very thought of leaping from the edge and into deep water. I was on the edge of my seat. She screamed, she cried, she refused.

Then she was pulled into the water without hesitation, was rolled onto her back and had no choice but to lay in the water like Patrick the Star Fish with the instructors arms supporting her body. She was sobbing and scared beyond all reason or sanity.

I couldn't stand it. I started to tear up and had to grab a nearby towel. Not for her, for me. I glanced over at her mother, who was snapping pictures at the entire event, but secretly shaking and holding her breath.

Then my Lollygagger was next. She went ballistic. She was not going to go through THAT! Does the phrase "Hell No, I Won't Go" conjure up any images for you?
I could hardly stand it.

The entire scene I had witnessed with the first little darling played out again with my Lollygagger. The tears, the sobbing, the gnashing of teeth, the hysteria.

I was a mess! ...what, you thought I was talking about the Lollygagger?


By the end of the swim lesson, I needed a nap to come down from the stress threshold I had climbed. The swim instructor actually invited me to join the five year olds for a lesson at their level so I would feel better about the whole thing. Uuummm, no. I'll just have to settle for never failing to embarrass myself at the most inopportune moments.

I had already decided not to go back for a repeat performance, but the Lollygagger and her daddy made sure I knew how important it was for me to be there. So, I'll go back. And, I'll be brave.

If the Lollygagger can do it, so can I.

Wish me luck; I Reeeellly need it.