Our dog, Maura

This past weekend we went for a walk to our little lake at the end of our street.  As usual, we took our dog, Maura, who loves to pee on every tree, bush, rock, and stick she can find; which are many.

Isn't she a beauty? 

Here's a trivia factoid for you:

Helen Keller was among the first to posess a fully qualified service dog, who performed many tasks on her behalf.  Her dog was an Akita.  The Akita is the most protective and loyal of the Japanise breeds and is among the most loyal and protective of all breeds.  Nearly extinct during WWII due to the starvation of the Japanise people who resorted to eating the animals to survive.

There, you may now consider yourself a smarter person.

Anyway, as we were walking through the parking lot at the edge of the lake, there were two Great Danes in the baseball field on our left, playing and growling as they stood on their hind legs, appearing to be having a boxing match. 

Our dog, Maura, is well behaved and trained to remain at my left side at all times unless otherwise told to play.

So, there she was on my left, closest to the two playful giants, while the Lollygagger was on my right. Apparently, Maura began to feel nervous about the two giants and the fur on her back rose up between her shoulders.  The next thing I knew, she was walking ahead of me and forcing the Lollygagger to her right.

She kept sight of the Lollygagger from the corner of her eye, pushing and sheparding her until we were on the distal side of the parking lot, all the while keeping an eye on the two giants on her left.

This was the first time Maura had shown an ounce of caring for the Lollygagger.  She usually can't be bothered with her and more often than not, walks the other way whenever the Lollygagger gets within three feet of her.

For the rest of our lakeside walk we found Maura closer than ever to the Lollygagger.  She was never more than ten feet away from her, which is odd considering she likes and expects her space.  Normally, the further away the Lollygagger is from her, the happier she is.

So, what happened?  Do dogs suddenly become protective and posessive when other dogs are boxing?  Why would she see fit to keep a close eye on her when the danger had passed?  Could it be possible, that after nearly four years of putting up with the Lollygagger she might actually like her?

Will Maura change her mind and go back to ignoring the Lollygagger when the lakeside walk is over?  Will she ever show this level of concern for the Lollygagger again?  We'll have to wait and see.

No matter what happens later, I have a new respect now for this beautiful dog who, at least once, loved the Lollygagger.

That'll do doggy, that'll do.

Fish for Dinner

We have learned many things over the past four years thanks to the Lollygagger. We've learned that you can't give an open-ended question without getting an hour long dissertation from her, none of which ever has a point. We've learned to offer choices rather than suggestions. For example, we now know to never ask what she would like to eat for dinner. We get "Macaroni and Cheese" every time. Instead, we will ask which item she would like for dinner, "Rice or Potato" or perhaps, "Chicken or Pork."

Last night, the Lollygagger and her daddy were winding their way home, curve by harrowing curve up the mountain. During the trying trek, the Lollygagger's daddy forgot himself and did the unthinkable. He asked what she would like with her fish, forgetting to offer choices.

Her response was immediate and clear:

"FLAVOR, please."

See what he gets for not giving options!  Some daddy's never learn.

Goin' potty

"Momma, I gotta go potty."

"Alright, what are you waiting for, go potty"

"Come with me."

"No, you don't need company in the bathroom."

"Come with me Momma, it's boring to go potty by myself."

"Just GO."

"Okay, you don't need to yell."

"... aaw, you came to keep me company - MOMMA! what are you doing with the camera?!"

"You can't take pictures of me going potty. Silly Momma. Put the camera down. - Momma, put the camera down, please. Momma, I can't go potty if you're taking pictures of me."

"Momma, you can go now... MOMMA."

"MOMMA, GET OUT AND SHUT THE DOOR BEHIND YOU!"

"Okay, you don't need to yell."

Dressy Betsy

Do you remember the Dressy Betsy doll? She was the little doll with ribbons in the pig tails so you could learn how to tie a bow. She had snaps, buttons, zippers, and peek-a-boo kitties in the pockets.

Today, the Lollygagger was sent upstairs to put quarters in her piggy bank. When she came down stairs, much, much later than she should have, she was dressed in this.

Her daddy and I were surprised to see she had dressed herself completely, undies and all, in an outfit that was well matched. She pranced around, doing a sort of 1970's John Travolta, finger-pointing-disco dance in celebration of her achievement. Then, momma had to spoil it by wanting to take a picture.

Miss frown face was asked how she managed to get the outfit down from the top rung of her closet. "I jumped, of course."

...When did she get to be such a smart mouth?

The temptation was too great. I had to tell her.

"Ah, sweetness. Your skirt is backward."

She burst out with laughter. Just when I think she'll be mad at me for telling her about her skirt, she goes and surprises me with a hearty belly laugh. I love that about her. Full of surprises.

"Go ahead momma, take a picture of THAT!"

Though I wasn't quit sure if she meant the backward skirt or not, I went ahead and took the picture.

I must admit, she's subtle.

Sleepin' with a Fish

Something new has developed at our house. Something, weired. Something, something...

Something so strange, I can barely bring myself to say it.

She fell in love with a fish, and I didn't get the memo.

The Lollygagger is a book fiend and can't seem to get along without her books. She goes to bed with a book every night. She craves a book of any type. Cardboard, paper, big or small, it doesn't matter. Books are her comfort. If she can't fall asleep with a book in her arms, she won't be able to shut her tiny eyes for hours.
Yes, that's a bit odd, but what really makes the whole book thing an oddity is, she can't read yet. She tries, but geez, she's only five.

So, last night I went into her room to check on her, as I do every night before I go to bed. It's routine for me to pull a book out from under her head, or peel it out of her hands as she applies the grip of death.

This night, however, I found this:

What is this, I ask. How did this happen?

I've tried for nearly four years to get her to enjoy the plethora of stuffed animals I've invested hundreds of dollars in, with no luck. She's been so adamant about sleeping with her books, I gave up on the whole stuffed animal thing altogether and haven't purchased one in ages.

Now, I find this.

I feel confused. Out of sorts. And, somehow uninformed.

Does her daddy know about this? Is he keeping this life changing, earth shattering event from me? He claims ignorance to the whole matter, but I just don't know. I say he's in on the whole thing.

Will this be a singular event, or the new norm?


Only time will tell.

Cookies and Crackers

One night, during my childhood, my young sister snuck out of bed to have herself a midnight snack of Oreo Cookie filling. No, not the cookie, just filling.

She creeped into the dining room, quietly pulled off the chrome plated lid of the glass jar where the cookies resided, and carefully twisted apart the chocolate cookie. She ate the yummy middle by licking it until it was clean. When she was through with the entire jar, she put the two halves back together and replaced each cookie.

The following day, my poor dad had a snack attack and sought out the comfort of the Oreo cookies. She watched as he took his first bite of his chocolate dreamwich and discovered his worst nightmare had come true. No filling.  Not a scrap.

There was no need to search for the culprit. Everyone knew who the guilty party was. Our resident cookie monster.

Today, I had the pleasure of having a 20 minute phone conversation with my Lollygagger. During our conversation, she told me she was eating a bunch of crackers. These crackers must have been exceptional, because she kept telling me how good they were and was giving me a full description of their flaky texture, the light salty taste, and the spectacular creamy cheese in the middle.

I was intrigued. How could I not be, with the detailed description she gave me. I asked her if she would save me one so I could taste it too.

Upon my arrival, she immediately handed me a bowl filled with her crackers. I was so honored, so impressed that she saved so many for me. Overwhelmed by her generosity, I gushed over her giving her hugs and thanks for being so thoughtful.

When I opened the bowl, I grabbed myself what I thought would be a satisfying salty snack. What I bit into was a sandwich cracker with the cheese licked off.

I love how history repeats itself.

The Pumpkin Patch Pig

Today, the Lollygagger went on a field trip to a Pumpkin Patch with her Kindergarten class.

Her daddy went along as a classroom aid and was given the assignment of photographer.

He did a great job snapping the candids and the poses of the Lollygagger.

The Pumpkin Patch is also home to Bees, which the Beekeepers love for their sweet honey.

The kids were given a little taste of the sweet bee barf. I'll bet if she knew what she was putting in her mouth, she would be repulsed. Bee barf.

She waltzed through the Pumpkin Patch without a care.

She got to visit with one of her favorite animals of all time;

Mr. Ed, the blue eyed horse, of course.

She was allowed to pet a duckling.

"Aaaaah, he's so soft."

"Hey, you should pet this little guy, he doesn't run!"

Last year, the Lollygagger was run over in a stampede of goats when we took her to a different Pumpkin Patch. You;ll notice, she's no where near the goats.

She tried her hand at towing an over sized squash.

That didn't go very well, so she decided she should go back to the animals.

While petting a Llama, she heard the "oink-oink" of a large sow in the stall next door. Well, you know the curiosity of a little girl must, MUST be quenched. Needless to say, she shoved her way through the crowd of classmates to see what was making all the noise.

As she reached out to touch the swine, it flew out of her mouth before he could stop her. She said it. In front of God, her classmates, her teachers AND the pig. "Look daddy, this pig is as big as MOMMA!"

Well, don't that beat all? I worked all summer on it and I've nearly lost 10 pounds. So what's with the remark? The things kids say. It's amazing they make it to adulthood.

Lucky for her I can see the humor in it.

The Magic of Daddy

Last night, we sat together watching the Simpson's. We've been expecting a rough storm to roll in and the front of the storm seemed to have reached us while we were engrossed in our nightly ritual.

Suddenly, without warning, the power went out.

We sat in the dark for the first few seconds in total silence.

It was the Lollygagger who spoke first: "Daddy, what happened?"

The Lollygaggers daddy explained the power had gone out and we may not be able to watch the rest of The Simpson's.

She nearly fell apart, the poor tired girl. She told her daddy, "turn it back on daddy, you know how to do these things." "What things?" he asked. "You know, magic things, like turning on the lights."

Neither of us are sure where magic fits into turning on the lights, but you wouldn't believe what happened next.

Yup!

The lights went right back on!



The Lollygagger's daddy took full credit for it, and claimed it was magic.

The wild imagination of a child is already at full throttle, now we have a Lollygagger who is sure, without a doubt, her daddy can do magic.

Hilarious.

RUN MITCHUM, RUN!

So, I'm dressing for work and reach for my trusty Mitchum deodorant. I pop off the cap, twist the dial, and begin to rub the deodorant vigorously into my arm pit. Before I knew it, the entire thing fell apart, disintegrating into multiple pieces.

Whining and complaining that my once trusty deodorant has now rendered itself useless, the Lollygagger's daddy says "that's what happens when it's desperate to get away".

I never knew it was possible for one man to be so full of sass.

Her Body Guard

During the past few years I've noticed how the Lollygagger's daddy watches over her...
like a body guard.

He looks left, he looks right, he looks ahead of where the Lollygagger happens to be.
She's never really out of his sight. But never really in his sight either.
He can somehow play with her, while ever vigilant in his duty to ensure no harm comes her way.

Truth is, we live in an area where there are a few shady characters, but mostly people who insist on allowing their dogs to run free with no regard to other people or their animals.

If their dogs remained at their owners side rather than running a muck and mowing down small children while chasing squirrels, it would be a different story. But, I guess that's a part of the give and take of mountain life.

Let's not forget the large numbers of coyotes we have roaming the area and running off with cats, dogs, and any other small animal they can catch. We cannot rule out the possibility of one being hungry enough to attack a small child.

Another truth is, he's an over protective daddy who will make her first boyfriend fear for his life. I'm already feeling sorry for him, whom ever he may be.

Good luck to you, you poor soul. Who ever you are.

Nursery Rhymes

My Lollygagger has been blessed with the ability to ham it up at every opportunity. She's happy to have an audience while she sings, dances, demonstrates karate or acrobatics.
Here she stands patiently waiting for the rest of her classmates to thread their way outside and into line for the opening act: The Nursery Rhyme song.

I know the song by heart. I've been listening to her sing it for a month now. In the morning, in the evening, in the car, in the market, at the mall, over the phone, in the bathtub, and inexplicably, while she brushes her teeth.

She wore a sweater to school in this morning, like most mornings. But took it off this morning, like most mornings. So she shivers and holds her arms to get warm.

It doesn't take long for her to get tired of waiting for the show to start, so she thought she would shout out a little update:

"Mommy, I've been a good girl today! No color changes and no time outs!!"

The class was precious singing their song and soon filed back into the classroom to ready themselves for the next few numbers.

The Lollygagger is a part of a quartet of sorts. They sing Hey Diddle Diddle, The Cat and the Fiddle. Guess who was the cow jumping over the moon?

Though I was surprised to see her in this cute little skit, I'm not surprised she was the moon.

Each time she comes into my room while I dress for work in the morning, she shouts out "MOMMA, THE MOONS OUT" and just when I'm having a bad day on the scale, she throws in "...AND IT'S FULL"

Her daddy thinks it's hilarious. I'll bet I know where she got it. With her part behind her, she was allowed to, uh... sit quietly...with her friends.

That didn't go over the way her teachers were hoping, so they were disbanded to go and sit with their parents for the rest of the show.

And, just so you know. This dress was not chosen this morning for the play. No, it was selected because it's a "princess dress" and according to the Lollygagger, she is a princess and has to wear it.

I agree. She is a little princess.All hail the Princess.